Also ehrlichgesagt wissen wir auch nicht so ganz, was wir zu der Story von Twitter-Userin _blotty sagen sollen, außer: Ui, das lief extrem sch****!
Aber erstmal von Anfang an: _blotty (deren richtigen Namen wir leider nicht kennen) hatte ein Date mit einem Typen. Die beiden verstanden sich super und gingen nach dem Essen noch zu ihm. Alles lief bestens, bis _blotty für „große Mädchen“ musste (naja, ihr wisst schon!) und feststellte, dass die Toilettenspülung nicht funktionierte.
Okay, das ist ungefähr das Schlimmste, was einem bei einem ersten Date (oder überhaupt) passieren kann. Aber ab hier lassen wir _blotty lieber selbst erzählen. Ihre Geschichte schrieb sie nämlich auf Twitter nieder (mutig!) und wird dafür jetzt von den Usern gefeiert.
Von uns auch. HELDIN!
I have a story to tell. It is about my poop
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) 22. März 2016
So, yesterday I went on a date with a man who asked me out in the grocery store the other day. All was going well. I went back to his place
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) 22. März 2016
I am a confident, calm and self assured woman...so I felt comfortable popping in his bathroom. This was a mistake. His toilet did not flush
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) 22. März 2016
Properly. So, of course, like any calm, confident, self assured woman. I panicked. And flushed it a million times, making everything worse
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) 22. März 2016
By this point, I was really frantic because I had been in there for too long. There was only one single piece of poop. So in that moment
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) 22. März 2016
Something came over me. And I knew exactly what I had to do. I got toilet paper and removed the one poop from the toilet. Once that was done
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) 22. März 2016
I realized I didn't have a plan. What do I do with it now? I can't fucking leave it there. By this point I was REALLY freaking out because
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) 22. März 2016
I'd DEFINITELY been in there too long. So, again, making another horrible decision. I did the only thing I could think to do. I wrapped it
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) 22. März 2016
In multiple layers of toilet paper, and put it in my purse
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) 22. März 2016
Alright, so now what? We are sitting there on his couch and kissing and all I can think of is the piece of poop in my purse
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) 22. März 2016
Him: you're so beautiful. The moment you smiled at me,u had me
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) 22. März 2016
Me: that's really sweet
Me in my head: I have a piece of my poo in my purse
At this point, I text my sister for advice pic.twitter.com/lMeX55iiH4
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) 22. März 2016
So, after a few hours he used the washroom and I heard it flush. I figured he fixed it. Maybe not, but I have to take the chance. I hAve to
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) 22. März 2016
Try to flush the poop. So I brought my purse up to the washroom. Unwrapped the poop, prayed to every god I know, put it in and flushed
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) 22. März 2016
By the grace of God, it worked. The poo flushed. I was free. I was in the clear. Everything was going to be okay. I survived.I am a survivor
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) 22. März 2016
So that's my story. A man, sat there telling me I'm the most amazing woman he's ever met, not knowing, 10 feet away in my purse, was my poop
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) 22. März 2016
That I'd fished out of his toilet...
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) 22. März 2016
This is v embarrassing for me. But seriously: dont drink coffee before a date, its better to be sleepy than to have to hide poop in ur purse
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) 22. März 2016
Credit: twitter.com/_blotty